寻求浪漫世界的秘诀是:让你的女人高兴
多做让女人高兴的事,你能积分
做女人不高兴的事,你会被扣分
做女人知道你会做的事,你不会得分
不公平?对不起,这就是和女人相处的法则
(点击看大图)
以下是和女人相处的积分指导:
SIMPLE DUTIES
家务活
* You make the bed ....................+1
每天铺床。。。+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
你铺了床,但没有艺术地摆好枕头。。。0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
用床罩掩盖皱巴巴的床单。。。-1
* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
忘记放下马桶座圈(从善如流,谢安静指正)。。。-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
厕所纸用光了你换上新纸卷。。。0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
把厕所纸装在纸巾卷上。。。-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
厕所里纸巾用完了,你使用另外的厕所。。。-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
你帮她购买那种画着翅膀的超薄卫生巾。。。+5
* in the snow...............+8
买卫生巾时外面正在下雪。。。+8
* but return with beer..........-5
你同时买回了啤酒。。。-5
* and no liners....................-25
你忘了买卫生巾。。。-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0
夜里你起床找寻可疑的声响。。。0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
你发现那可疑的声响其实没啥。。。0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
那可疑的声响非同小可,幸亏及时地发现了。。。+5
* You pummel it with a six iron...........+10
是一只可恶的小动物,你用哑铃击打。。。+10
* It's her cat.........................-40
声响来自于她的爱猫。。。-40
AT A PARTY
在宴会上
* You stay by her side the entire party...... 0
整个晚会你都和她呆在一起。。。0
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy...-2
你和她一起呆了一阵然後端着酒杯和你的大学同学聊天。。。-2
* Named Tiffany.............-4
那位老同学名叫蒂芙尼。。。-4
* Tiffany is a dancer...........-6
蒂芙尼很会跳舞。。。-6
* With breast implants..............-18
蒂芙尼有高耸的乳房。。。-18
HER BIRTHDAY
生日
* You take her out to dinner................ 0
带她出去吃饭。。。0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
舍弃了你最喜欢的运动餐厅。。。+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2
说服她去运动餐厅。。。-2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3
是那种难吃的食物。。。-3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10
在运动餐厅你,那种难吃的食物,你还在脸上画了你喜欢的那一队的标志。。。-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
和狐朋狗友一起夜间外出
* Go with a pal.........................+5
是你们的好朋友。。。+5
* The pal is happily married............+4
你的好友有幸福的婚姻。。。+4
* Or frighteningly single...............-7
是放荡不羁的单身汉。。。-7
* And he drives a Ferrari...............-10
开着法拉利跑车。。。-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
跑车车牌非常个性(例如 GR8 NBED 什么的)。。。-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
和她在一起的夜晚
* You take her to a movie...............+2
带她去看电影。。。+2
* You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
带她去看她喜欢的电影。。。+4
* You take her to a movie you hate......+6
那电影你极不喜欢。。。+6
* You take her to a movie you like......-2
带她去看你喜欢的电影。。。-2
* It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
电影名是《死亡警探之三》。。。-3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9
是恐怖的吃人怪物。。。-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
你骗她说那是一部外国孤儿的故事。。。-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
你的体态
* You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15
你有了啤酒肚。。。-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10
有了啤酒肚,正在努力锻炼减肥。。。+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
有了啤酒肚却不积极锻炼,穿宽松的裤子和宽大的夏威夷衬衫。。。-30
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800
你说:“这没啥,你的腰身不也够粗了。。。”。。。-800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
难回答的问题(怎么回答你都错)
* She asks, "Do I look fat?"
她问:“我是不是胖了?”
* You hesitate in responding.....-10
你不知怎么回答。。。-10
* You reply, "Where?"............-35
你答非所问。。。-35
* Any other response.............-20
你胡乱回答。。。-20
COMMUNICATION
沟通
When she wants to talk about a problem:
在她没完没了地唠唠叨叨的时候
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression...... 0
你听着,一副很在意的样子。。。0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5
你认真安静的听了超过半小时。。。+5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100
半小时里你只是安静专心地听,没有看电视等小动作。。。+100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
她终于发现你那么安静是因为你睡着了。。。-200
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